In the words of Ice Cube “Today was a good day.”
We arrived in Portsmouth at 1 and in the words of Eminem our “palms were sweaty”, with excitement! First we had introductions and a tour of the boat, as Drake would say “we started from the bottom” of the boat and worked our way up, learning about winches and ropes and all that other boat ‘slang’.
We then began our voyage to Cowes in the Isle of Weight, recreating Titanic photos on the way, let’s hope we won’t have the same ending. This took a sharp turn however once we experienced a fleeting glimpse of death’s sweet embrace when a wave, in the word’s of Kendrick Lamar, tried to ‘kill our vibe’ and our shoes got merked.
We’ve had a chengarzz dinner and now we’re gonna go and get absolutely chonged up on the top deck. All in all we’re having a lovely time and in the words of D:ream “things can only get better” J
By Stiz and Macy xx
Basically yeah, man had a sick day on my intro to the tall ships sailing trip ennit, dis guy learnt how 2 do dem knots you get me, yeah? Also yeah, this bredrin cooooooked some pengers fajitas, dey tasted sooooooo good you don’t even know, smh. Now we’s gunna get wavey on de top deck, gonna chill with dem vibes, never known seagulls to be sooo piff, these tings squawk for long, raaaah what was man thinking bout? oh my days. Anyway yeah, MAN CANNNNNNOT WAIT FOR TOMORROW, SUCH A MOTIVE, TRUST. YOU DUNNO.
Bonner J Law (don’t forget it)
After stopping the night at the Cowes Marina on Monday night, Tuesday morning meant we were in for something out of our comfort zone. After a hearty breakfast of eggy bread, fruit juice and tea it was time for us to suit up into harnesses and attempt to climb the mast. Luckily, almost all 10 members managed to reach the very top and look over the views that Cowes had to Offer. Our Teacher Mr.Hulley was in for a surprise as we pretended to lower him over the side of the boat into the water which I’m sure he very much enjoyed. Later we began to prepare the sails for our voyage and worked together through various jobs sorting the sheets (ropes) and uncasing the sails. This took us through the morning until about 1pm.
Next came our voyage to Poole that took us through a part of sailing that we perhaps were not prepared for. The first couple of hours were great! We took it in turns doing various jobs such as using the winches during tacking and work in the snake pit as we hit some very choppy seas. Unfortunately myself and a few others suffered awful sickness that resulted in me falling asleep firstly by the head (toilet) and then for several hours until 8pm in my bunk. Through this period of time I was sleeping what happened is only what can be described as an unfortunate series of events. Due to the lack of people still able to work in the ship we had to stop sailing and begin to use engine power. The Engine overheated resulting in us having to stop using the engine and call for help to be towed into a marina. As we were being towed, one of our teams made a lovely spaghetti Bolognese which lifted the spirits of the groups and refuelled us.
After a long day of achievement, strength, success as well as sickness, injury and exhaustion, we were grateful to reach a point of stopping and be able to relax, get the engine fixed, and step out into Poole for some fresh air, a trip to Tesco and LOTS of Sleep J
Day3 in the tallships boat. We didn’t go anywhere. Engine were brokeded. Had a look around Poole. Took part in the naff gift challenge (of course our team won with a magnet gnome in a mankini). To be fair we got to play a bit of crazy golf so that was alright, actually more than alright J . Got to grab some pengarz ice cream from Truly Scrumptious! Then got CRACKING with some brownie mix to make the best brownies out of the two teams. I mean it was clearly fixed because we didn’t win. We quizzed, which made us realise that we’ve got fewer brain cells than imagined, although the questions were clearly aimed at the people who rarely leave the house. After 8 we played the ‘after eight’ game, I was an absolute GOD at it. Stiz however just ended up with some wham skiddies down her phat head. We went to bed at like 10 and life were sound.
Starboard crew J
Timmy the Toucan was born
I was born on the Challenger Three at 11.30am. I was removed from my cardboard cage and released into the sunshine. Some strange snowman started to provide me with the breath of life. My feet were filled, my beak was whole and finally my feathery, cup-holder filled body was at one with the boat.
My first flight was aided by a strange silver fish which motored across the waves. This was my first taste of the water which slightly splashed against my feathers. It had a strange salty taste! All I wanted to do was to fly away but instead I just had an array of boys and girls holding me down. There were even strangers (whom I have been told to avoid) who tried to imprison me onto their vessels. I found my power to help and support those who gave me life. I held them up over the water; I even hid a couple of the boys as they pretended to re-enact Jaws! I provided protection from the sand for a sailor called Sam and finally I returned back to my place of birth.
The weird creatures then decided to try and be Toucans and fly off the boat. Some succeeded, one cried out in pain as she realised that only turtles can dive on their back! Two strange boys, called Liam and Bennett, even decided to try and fly and swim through a strange ring of bananas…they both succeeded, however with a difference in splash and noise!
As a thank you for all of my ‘mothers’ and ‘fathers’ I presented them with a buffet lunch. I discovered hidden chicken goujons and a crazy smelling bread of garlic! My lords and ladies feasted and were full of joy as we set sail to a new location.
This craze for trying to become a Toucan took on a whole new form as my creators decided to try and fly up the side of the ship. They had their feathers tethered to a rope and they needed to fly diagonally up to another pole (I am assuming where the nest I came from was!) The one they called ‘The Adrenaline Junkie’ bravely stepped up to take flight first. She soared up the rope, half toucan-half monkey. There was even a strange beat in the background of impending Pirate doom from the Caribbean. This toucan was in tune with the beat and even took a breather whilst waiting for the music to begin again. This started a trend. Bennett was next… let’s say he tried; Liam then found his wings and soared up into the air in 20 seconds. A strangely named toucan called Stiz then flew with some guidance from another inhabitant called Sam in approximately 30 seconds. And the others then all followed, Dolci, Tasha, Bonner and Nick all soared. Others then seemed to repeat the process. I wish I could fly!
Some of these strange toucan folk then decided to dance. Or at least try to. Personally, I think that my ‘tail-wagging’ was the best of all, and so colourful! The ones they called Stiz and Macy led the way and then others followed. It was like a Neo-tropical carnival that my ancestors would have witnessed. Now, during all of this I kept a watchful eye on my snowman father and I began to witness a strange phenomenon. As he kept flying up and down the stairs he seemed to be no longer a snowman and instead a lobster cooking in the pot turning more and more a shade of red. This lobster shall be called Archie! I fear for him, but he said that he was fine. Maybe some toucans look like lobsters!
I sense my time running out…
Like a butterfly, I sense that my life is shortening. The mood in the group around the final supper seems a mix of excitement for the night ahead and also the need for a long sleep. I will have the longest sleep as I am being returned to my cardboard cage. I hope to see you all again soon.
The final destination.
Last we had our night adventure across the 7 seas. After watching a bookey sunset and yamming some pengarz Jerk chicken, we planned our routes using a map and Portland plotter across the treacherous path between Osborne Bay and Portsmouth. The inferior pagan yutes went first, steering the wheel and using flashing lights to navigate in the dark. Meanwhile, the team of absolute wicked skengbois AKA US, were keeping watch whilst completing the entire bohemian rhapsody, pitch perfect. Them it was our turn to steer and we were so gassed, it was a sticky one but we absolutely nailed dat steering ting, aced it fam. Spotted the South cardinal, doing 6 and one mad long ting flash and we skrrrrrrrted up in Portsmouth ends around 12. It was time enit.
All in all it was an exquisite ending to an invigorating voyage, there is really nothing that makes you feel more alive than acting as Poseidon himself, being king the wavez, and holding the power of life and death in my likkle hands.
Ya dun know.
Real talk tho, proper pressed to be leaving all my boys behind might lowe Sam’s dead bants though. It has been mad one had a proper mad time and will miss my little boat fam. Tall Ships has been a real one, sad to go L
Big love xoxoxo
By Stiz and Macy